No matter how hard I try to make myself busy, no matter how many people I meet and talk to, no matter how many hours of sleep I get, no matter where I go and what I do... I just can't seem to escape falling into this void you left.

I wish I could get myself out of here.

I wish I could just be okay.

I just want to be okay again...

And I Am Back... Again.

Last year, I was able to bring myself to put up one entry for this dying blog. At least there's one entry. And ever since, I've been contemplating on whether I should keep it up or not. Mostly, I would just want to write just for the sake of venting whatever it is that I'm feeling/going through my head because honestly, there's really no one out there who I could vent to, maybe there is, but I'm saving myself the judgement and shame, and I don't want to bother people with the negativity that's going on in my life. And evidently, I failed to do myself that favor. As a result, I spent the past few months or years, just bottling things up. A tweet/Instagram post or two helps out sometimes, but ranting about it without having to think of the character limit is just therapeutic. And if I keep doing it on those platforms, I might end up becoming this annoying person who throws himself this "pity party" that nobody cares about. No one would like that - I wouldn't like that.

I used to set some goals and these so-called "resolutions" every year for myself, but this year, I'd just like to go with the flow and save myself the disappointments. But one thing I hope I'll be able to do is to keep this blog up on a regular basis. I'm going to rummage through my brain and write down the things that have been weighing me down lately or whatever it is that I'd like to document for the entertainment of the older version of myself.

That's it for now!

Laters,

John